Lizzy McAlpine is a master at encapsulating emotional agony, longing and comfort all at once. From the solemn strumming pattern to the layered vocals and her ability to build songs to a perfect crescendo only to have it all come crashing down; “ceilings” is a track that fuels gnawing, spine chilling, drop-in-your-stomach-inducing heartache.
“Ceilings” is the 8th track on McAlpine’s sophomore album five seconds flat, which released April 8th 2022. I, tragically, did not get around to listening to this album until November where it quickly consumed my life; to such an extent that my friends had to ban me from playing this song, after I played it 23 times that day. On the surface “ceilings” tells the story of new love, the portion of a relationship where you’re giddy to be in the presence of the other person, encompassed by the lyric “I don’t want to leave, but I have to go home.” The mundane things in life suddenly become exciting because it’s “lovely to just lay here with you.”
Following the second verse when the singer proclaims “lovely to sit between comfort and chaos,” the instrumentation shifts and begins to build with the string and drum pieces vamping up. The composition then crescendos as the McAlpine’s vocals ring out clearly and painstakingly “But it’s not real, and you don’t exist, and I can’t recall the last time I was kissed. It hits me in the car and it feels like the end of a movie I’ve seen before.” The agony and disappointment in her vocals reveals that the relationship she has been describing is fictional. The singer has explained that the track is less about missing someone but missing something. It’s about missing the comfort and love you once experienced, she is merely daydreaming about this hypothetical love whilst simultaneously reliving memories. This song is already like a punch in the stomach but McAlpine’s vocal performance is what makes this song for me; Lizzy McAlpine is never just singing anything; she is living it, taking us through the motions of processing pain which is intimate and sincere.
Published via Atwood Magazine
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